There are three wise monkeys. I base my lifestyle on their philosophy. Except for bananas I use pineapples 🍍
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This thread is becoming more epic.
They don't teach these things at school, you either learn it the hard way, get guidance early or get f'd as you go down the rabbit hole.
Me and this girl were talking outside of her work time, she doesn't charge me (only the first time we met), we talk about life, shows me pics of her life back in her country, becomes friends on fb, she tells me she's scared for me and that she never asked me to come to her place lol it was getting kinda serious and emotions were strong. We told eachother while holding hands walking down the riverside that tonight will be the last night. It was the best night ever.
It's been 2 days now. No messaging, no contact, yday was very hard, today seems better (thinking of her less), this thread def helps (none of my friends will want to hear this).
My goal: Complete separation, in future, think back of this amazing moment of living on the edge.
Mate, you're in the hard zone. You can only grind your way through this, day by day.
The only advice i have is to find something big to do for the next 2 weeks. Holiday? Organise curry nights or brewery crawls with buddies. Work on your car. Build a bbq. Whatever. I once checked into a health farm for 3 days after a brutal hard stop. Left after 2 days because pumpkin seeds for breakfast was worse than the heartache.
The grass always seems greener on the other side. Truth is we just can't see the weeds. You'll survive and have great memories for the rocking chair later on. There is a cost to living a great life. Heartache is one of them.
You must be young.
Dirty little secret - you are much more likely to win back a lady if you show her you can absolutely switch off from her
If you are a little man boy, she can sense that immediately and will string you along as a friend on her terms, using you for emotional support but ignore your needs totally
Be non-communicative for a few days. Show her you may have other options
Risk not texting for days at a time. If you are just one of many man boys she is using as emotional support, she won't contact you back - but if she likes you she will come to that realization after 5-7 days and text you back.
Your life will be full of women who you want to get in their pants, but they just want you as a friend. Don't be friendzoned like this. Dont be a ladys big brother
Another forum member recommended Corey Wayne
Google:
Understanding Relationships. .com
You can act so much better by signalling you have masculinity and not being a man boy doormat
Always wash your cock after every and any sexual session, even if a Condom was used. The reason being simply to prevent infection and keep all well good personnel hygiene. 🫡[emoji106]
You made a mistake back then
As I suggested, if she contacts you back with definite interest, then you take her out
My advice was holding back from texting if you sense you are only in the friendzone
I never said hold back if she asks you out. If a women shows true interest, go for it
Lol this cracked me up.
Thanks for sharing your advice, really good to see support.
Some updates:
Today is Day 3 since the break up. I feel a lot better. No messaging. She posted a photo of a meal we had together on her FB and mentioned "I lost something v important". This didn't help. I read all her friends commenting and her responses. Kinda killed me ans made me sad. But I kept telling myself to be strong. I don't want to delete or block her, but i did unfollow her so she doesnt come up on my feed anymore. I genuinely want to see her quit this job one day and move back to her country to live out her dream, escape poverty etc.
Some thoughts running through my head to make me feel better:
- I had 6hrs of fun time over the span of the "relationship" plus dinner dates, but only paid for 1hr, savings of over $1.5k. Ozbargain of the year.
- I ticked off a big bucket list: spend time with a beautiful woman
- I feel more confident and learnt more about myself, my limits, my psychology, my emotions
Lesson for the beginners: when punting, go in and go out. Wash your hands.
Normally I smash people txting. For every one I receive I send ten. Half the time I wonder if they read them! A lot of the time my jokes go straight over people’s heads.
Double entendres forget that, it’s a triple or nothing.
Such is life… well he’s dead and it didn’t help him. Should have been a straight shooter.
Hang in there bro
Another dirty secret. This lady and all ladies will think you are double as attractive and double self assured, if you just hang back at this point and be aloof.
Don't be the man boy puppy dog who sits at her feet with your tongue hanging out
Because that's how most men have acted ever to her ever since this lady was 16
Honestly if she doesn't get back in contact with you within 2 weeks, then she has a man in her life, and you can let go
If she wants to contact you again, you need to get a good radar for friendzone behaviour from her, and play the game how you want to play it
Do not be friendzoned, and know immediately when that is happening. Spend all your time being with women who aren't wasting your time
Punt more. That's why it was invented. So you don't get misguided by a woman who friendzones people
Man up and wake up
It’s called cock blocking.
Why it happens? There’s a reason. That’s the perpetual problem trying to work out why.
It can be very frustrating for people who are direct in their approach.
The more pleasure we seek, the more pain we receive.
Unfortunately that advice of yours isn't suited to everyone. It's like a miner giving up digging when they could be very close to striking gold.
Whatever it is we're seeking, all we need to change is our perspective and attitude. Even if the experience is bad, the karmic connection gets exhausted and you won't have to experience the same thing in the future. If that person isn't for you, something will draw you away from it once you have exhausted all past karma.
Some people will have a strong affinity for each other through some fate. This affinity will bring them together no matter how much they drift away from each other. Exhausting and purifying the karma of one person will bring them close to the person they're fated to be with. However, miracles will happen when both purify their karmas at the same time.
And this is why I have faith in the person I'm waiting for - on a daily basis I am purifying whatever karma that's left within me. The more I purify, the less anxiety I have. Happiness arises and hopefully the person I'm waiting for does the same so that a miracle can happen and we would be reunited.
I can’t remember if I ever waited for anyone?
Call it insurance but if you’re running multiple girls then if one doesn’t pull through there’s always another that will.
That way you’ll never run dry.
Not “life lessons” but “life insurance”.